


we should just kiss like real people do

by finnhoe



Series: it starts in my toes (or my wrist and your elbow) [4]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bottom Poe Dameron, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Dog BB-8, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Feel-good, Fluff and Smut, Funeral, M/M, Making Out, Mentioned Character Death, Recovery, Rey is Amazing, Riding, Tooth Rotting Fluff, for like two seconds, lots of make out sessions, me: aggressively ignores canon, poe fucking loves Christmas and finn, poe has a cat named stuart, seriously though, slight angst, welcome to my fluff fest, which is a huge mood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 11:22:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13075827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finnhoe/pseuds/finnhoe
Summary: "They sit there for a bit, staying warm by bleeding into each other. Stuart has since laid out across both their laps, enjoying the attention. Finn listens to Poe’s breaths become slower and deeper, and his sniffling subsides. He listens to the distant sound of cars on the freeway, to the occasional ribbit of a frog and jingle of a cat’s collar. The dim light of the street lights casts a yellowish glow on the street.It’s still. The serene peace seeps into Finn's veins, calming him."or,poe is recovering, finn is beautiful and they're two dorks in love.





	we should just kiss like real people do

**Author's Note:**

> listen,,,... I KNOW its been a year and a half but here I am aggressively throwing this last part of my soulmate series at you!!! enjoy!

He’s recovering.

It’s a long road full of ups and downs and everything in betweens. There’s days when he doesn’t leave bed because he feels the loss of his dad like a physical ache. It feels like he’s been hit by a bulldozer and has weights strapped to his body.

But, there’s days where he feels he will be okay. These are the days where he can almost be productive, and make progress on funeral plans and make grocery lists and clean his house.

One thing that is constant on both these types of days is Finn.

When he can’t leave bed, it’s Finn who kisses him on the forehead and brings him meals. When he’s sobbing so hard he thinks he’s going to break, Finn pulls him to his chest and holds him together.

When he’s having a good day, Finn is there to run errands for him and hold his hand as he speaks to the cemetery about the service.

So, he’s getting there. They’re getting there.

Today isn’t a good day, but it’s not a bad day. Just a day.

Poe can hear Finn from his spot the living room. He’s on the phone with Rey and putting away groceries in the kitchen.

“No, no. Don’t do that,” Finn’s smooth voice is laced with persuasion.

A pause. Then, “Rey. We’re fine,” Finn has stopped putting away groceries now, eyes drifting over to the back of Poe’s head as he listens to Rey yell at him that she doesn’t care, and she’s coming over.

Finn sighs, and Poe turns back to look at him with a question in his facial expression.

Finn mouths, “Just Rey,” and walks forward to kiss him on the forehead, smoothing the furrow in Poe’s brow.

And that’s it, right there. Poe is so unfathomably and irrevocably in love with this man. The man who literally stumbled into his life just two months ago and said the _stupid_ quote that Poe had been carrying on the inside of his elbow for all of his 29 years.

Finn is so compassionate, kind, thoughtful and more than Poe could ever imagine he would get in a mate. He feels like he’s in a dream sometimes.

So, when Finn sits down next to him and presses end on his phone call, Poe moves to cling to his side. He throws his legs over Finn’s thighs, and buries his face in his mate’s neck.

“Rey’s coming over. She’s bringing dinner. Is that okay?” Finn’s voice is soft, and he places a hand on Poe’s thigh and another around his back.

“Mhm,” Poe’s response is muffled by Finn’s neck, so he picks his head up and says, “She can come over whenever she wants.”

Finn softly smiles, and Poe feels his stomach swoop. He’ll never get over Finn’s smile and the love behind it.

“I love you,” the words slip out of Poe’s mouth before he can stop them. They haven’t said it yet.

Finn’s eyes widen and Poe opens his mouth to say an excuse, but he’s stopped by a pair of gentle lips on his own.

It’s an innocent, gentle kiss. There is nothing but love behind it, and Poe feels so safe in that moment. It’s simply lips holding lips, and Poe feels the hand on his leg tighten ever so slightly.

“I love you, too. More than you’ll ever know,” Finn whispers into the still air, and Poe feels the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

-

 

Rey comes about an hour later. After Kes’ death, she came by so often with pastries and groceries that Finn and Poe made her a key to Poe’s house.

She walks in, balancing a bag of takeout Chinese, a box of cupcakes and a bottle of wine. She places the containers on the table (she definitely does NOT almost drop the cupcakes) and toes her shoes off, looking for a sign of Finn or Poe.

Her eyes land on the two heaps on the couch. Poe is still curled over Finn, and Finn’s head is resting on Poe’s. The steady breathing from both of them tell her that they fell asleep.

She decides to unpack the food and put the cupcakes and wine in the fridge. BB-8 comes up to her from his place on the rug. His tail is wagging with enough force to blow over a telephone pole. Rey bends down to pet him, scratching his ears. He barks of excitement, and Rey hears a sharp intake of breath from the couch that is probably Finn’s.

“Rey?” Finn’s voice is scratched with sleep and he turns around as carefully as he can as not to jostle Poe.

It’s enough to make Rey’s heart melt.

“Here, love,” Rey calls, standing up from petting BB-8.

She walks over to him, smiling at the sight of Poe still sound asleep on Finn. She’s only known Poe for two months, but when she met him, she instantly liked him. His bold yet soft demeanor and the utter compassion and kindness in his eyes made the two get along from the start. And then there was the fact that they would walk to the ends of the earth for Finn that bonded them together.

She’s felt compelled and almost obligated to, but enjoyed coming over so often to bring either food or support or both. Finn and Poe both tell her she doesn’t need to keep baking and bringing them things, but she ignores them. She loves spending time with them and loves baking. It’s a win win.

Rey walks into the living room and starts picking up stray objects on the floor, finding a place for them.

“You don’t have to do that,” Finn still speaks quietly, checking if Poe is still asleep. He is.

“I know. But I’m gonna,” Rey responds, “You should quit telling me to stop doing things. You’re just wasting your breath.”

Finn rolls his eyes, but can’t conceal the fond smile that follows. He like, seriously lucked out between Rey and Poe.

Rey sits down on the couch across the room. BB-8 jumps up on her lap and she scratches him behind his ears.

 “How is he?”, she nods towards Poe’s sleeping figure.

Finn looks down and briefly studies the peaceful features before responding, “He’s okay. He’s recovering, so you know, there’s good days and bad. We’re getting there.”

“Is he still off work?” Rey asks.

“Yeah. He had saved up a bunch of paid time off and sick time, so he’s using that right now. His job also gave him an extra week of time off. He’s supposed to go back in two weeks,” Finn replies, smoothing back a strand of hair from Poe’s forehead.

Rey sighs, “Crazy that it’s been a month since it happened. I remember getting that phone call from you.”

Finn slowly nods, remembering that night, “It’ll be a month tomorrow. I think Poe finalized the date for the funeral today. I wanna say it’s a week before he goes back to work.”

“It’s gonna be tough for him,” Rey whispers.

Finn nods sadly, “Yeah. I’m gonna stay here as long as he needs me.”

Finn unofficially moved in after it happened. He’s slowly brought over almost his whole closet and toiletries. They haven’t talked about it, but their relationship is progressing toward Finn officially moving in. Which reminds Finn.

A slow smile creeps over his face, “Guess what?”

Rey mirrors his expression and leans forward, “What?”

“He said he loves me,” Finn’s voice is quiet, but he’s practically bursting.

Rey puts her and over her mouth and jumps a little in her seat, “Finn! That’s amazing!”

Finn smiles and nods, arm tightening over Poe’s back.

“I really do. Love him, I mean. I just,” Finn pauses, searching for the right words, “Like, I want to protect him and hold him and love him and support him. I can feel a physical loss if I’m away from him for more than like, an hour. I don’t know. I can’t explain it.”

Rey smiles warmly, “Finn. I get it. I feel the same way with Jessika. You’re just feeling extra sensitive because he’s in pain.”

Finn nods minutely and kisses the top of Poe’s head. He rests his forehead there, breathing in the peace and stillness of his mate.

“I’ll get us dinner,” Rey moves to stand up and BB-8 hops down, following her into the kitchen.

Finn nuzzles the side of Poe’s neck and whispers, “Poe. Baby, wake up.”

He gets no response. Damn Poe and his heavy sleeping.

Finn gently shakes his body, kissing his neck and leaving a path of small kisses up to his nose.

That gets Poe stirring, and he mumbles something that sounds like _why_.

Finn quietly snorts and tries again, “Babe, Rey is here with dinner.”

At the mention of food, Poe perks up and makes eye contact with Finn.

“Food?” Poe asks, already looking around for the aforementioned good.

 Finn laughs, “What a fatass,” he teases, grabbing Poe’s ass for added measure. And because he wants to.

Poe leans forward and bites Finn’s chin before replying with his sleep-ridden rocky voice, “You love my fat ass.”

Finn feels a playful urge and  slips his hand under Poe’s briefs, groping his ass cheek. Poe gasps and his hand curls around the nape of Finn’s neck, drawing him in.

They stare each other down for a second, and Finn searches Poe’s eyes to make sure he feels well enough to do this.

Finn finds nothing but lust and love. Well, okay then.

Their lips come together and heat begins to pool at the bottom of Poe’s stomach as he feels Finn’s other hand gently brace the side of his face, rubbing his cheekbone. The fact that Finn can be so fucking sexy and so gentle at the same time really just like. Kills him.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Finn breathes and his hand slips out of Poe’s sweats to under that damn cropped t-shirt, feeling the warm skin of his back.

“Was gonna say the same to you,” Poe grunts, shifting so he’s straddling Finn’s lap.

Poe groans as Finn leaves hot kisses up his neck and sucks a hickey on to his jaw. He can feel his blood pressure rising and his breaths getting shorter.

They haven’t had sex since before it happened. A month is WAY too long for Poe when he’s mated with the most beautiful man in the planet.

No.

The universe.

“I want you. Now,” Poe moans into Finn’s ear.

Finn’s hands have wandered to Poe’s hips, and they tighten when he hears that.

“Rey! You know I love you girl, but I need you to leave. Just for an hour,” the last part of Finn’s sentence is shaky because Poe starts to grind their crotches together.

“What? But I-” she stops when she walks out to the living room, “Oh! Um. Okay. I’ll see myself out. Love you guys,” her voice is panicked, and Poe starts to feel bad but then Finn does _something_ with his hips that feels so good and all bad feelings are gone.

“Fuck!” Poe yells, and he can hear an affirming moan from the beautiful god beneath him.

“Bed?” Finn’s voice is tight, and he’s already moving to get up but Poe stops him with a hand on his wrist.

“No,” Poe steadies himself before diving back in for a heated kiss.

In a clash of tongues and teeth, Poe manages to get out, “Wanna ride you. Right here.”

Finn swears loudly and rolls his hips up in response. He’s said it before and he’ll say it again. This man really will be the death of him.

“We don’t have any lube in this room,” Finn pulls back, breathing hard.

Poe has a wicked smirk and reaches over to the table next to the couch. And lo and behold, he pulls out a fucking KY lube bottle.

“Knew I’d wanna fuck you on the couch one day,” Poe moans, reaching down to slide off his pants.

Finn curses in response, and they’re a mess of limbs as they try to get their clothes off at the same time.

Through force and sheer will, they somehow are successful with the ridding of clothes. Poe laughs at how out of breath they are from trying.

“We should get into a gym,” Poe jokes.

Finn halfheartedly snorts and takes the bottle from Poe’s hand. He slicks his fingers up and circles Poe’s rim.

“Shit,” Poe breathes as his thighs struggle to hold him up. He was serious about going to the gym. It’s a tough millennial life.

Finn slowly inserts one of his long fingers, and looks up to kiss Poe on the chin. Poe grunts and lets his head fall forward on Finn’s shoulder. It burns because it’s been so long, but the pain is overcome by the pleasure and love he’s feeling.

Finn crooks his finger and slowly drags it in and out, trying to reduce the amount of pain Poe is in. He kisses Poe’s neck as he enters a second finger. He bends them in the way that Poe loves, and bottoms out at his knuckles.

“Ah,” Poe responds, hips twitching forward and dick swelling up.

Finn thrusts his two fingers in and out for a minute, relishing in the noises Poe makes when he hits his spot.

He adds one more finger, just to be sure Poe is open enough. He hears Poe hiss, but then feels a kiss on his neck urging him to keep going.

“I’m good. Sit back, baby,” Poe whispers, gently pushing Finn against the couch.

Finn looks up at him with full adoration and astonishment. Poe knows the feeling.

Poe lowers himself on to Finn, bracing himself on Finn’s broad shoulders. His perfect human specimen, superhero shoulders.

Poe finally bottoms out, and his eyebrows furrow as he breathes for a moment. His head is slightly tilted back and there’s a gorgeous pink flush spreading to his chest.

“Beautiful,” Finn whispers, overwhelmed with love and overwhelmed with down and dirty _pleasure_.

Poe gives a halfhearted chuckle and rocks his hips forward, eliciting a moan from both lovers. From Poe’s point of view, Finn looks like a goddamn painting. All hard lines and soft features, the rich smoothness of his skin contrasting beautifully with the orange couch. He’s breathtaking.

He moves his hips again, this time gaining momentum. He can hear Finn moan deep in his chest with every roll of his hips. He wants to kiss him.

So he does.

Poe leans down and caresses the side of Finn’s face as they share a passionate kiss. It’s slow at first but builds, their tongues slipping into each other’s mouth. Poe controls it and times the movement of his tongue with the rhythm of his hips.

Finn feels _so good_ to Poe _._ His mouth is so soft and his dick fills him just right and his chest is so sturdy for him to lean on. Finn is perfect and he’ll personally fight anyone who says different.

“God, I love you,” Poe barely gets out through grunts as his pace picks up and Finn’s hands are roaming his ass, hips and back.

Finn’s respondent moan is swallowed by Poe as he dives back into Finn’s mouth.

The atmosphere is charged and Poe is close. He knows Finn is, too, because he’s starting to moan faster and his hands have chosen to rest on Poe’s hips.

Finn takes Poe’s dick in his hand and groans, “Come on, baby.”

Poe almost cries and moves even faster on Finn’s dick and he can feel the heat going up, up, up. Finn twists his hand on his dick and he comes in a loud moan. He can hear Finn chanting, “I love you I love you I love you,” as Finn comes too.

It’s honestly fireworks every time they come together, and Poe clenches his ass and relishes in the feeling of being filled up.

Poe collapses on to Finn’s shoulder. He winces as he’s oversensitive, and pulls off Finn’s dick to sit in his lap.

“Fucking unreal,” Finn whispers, just having the energy to place a kiss to Poe’s sweaty shoulder.

“Shower?” Poe offers, sitting up enough to kiss Finn’s ear.

“Thought you’d never ask.”

 

-

 

The Chinese food Rey had brought over was long forgotten. After their shower (and another round), Finn and Poe fell into bed in a tangle of limbs and sleepy kisses.

Now, it’s 4:30 am and Finn is awakened by a loss of heat by his side.

“Poe?” Finn mumbles, blindly searching the other side of the bed for his lover.

He cracks one eye open, and is met with a dark and empty room. The stillness alarms him, so he throws a sweater and sweats on before padding out of the room. BB-8 hears the commotion and yawns before curiously following him.

Finn leaves the bedroom and sees the light is on in the front of the house. He opens the front door and breathes a quiet sigh of relief when he sees Poe sitting on the bench cuddling with Stuart.

“Sweetheart, what are you doing?” Finn asks quietly.

Poe turns to Finn, and the warm lighting of the porch light hollows his cheekbones and the circles under his eyes. His eyes are bloodshot and wet. Finn’s heart nearly breaks.

“Oh, baby,” Finn breathes, instantly going to sit by Poe’s side.

Finn wraps an arm around Poe’s waist, using the other hand to guide Poe’s head on his shoulder. He tries to physically exude as much warmth and happiness he can to the man next to him.

Poe whimpers ever so slightly and reaches up to take Finn’s hand in his own, clutching it like a lifeline.

“I just miss him,” Poe whispers into Finn’s neck.

“I know. I know you do,” Finn replies, rubbing his thumb over Poe’s knuckle.

They sit there for a bit, staying warm by bleeding into each other. Stuart has since laid out across both their laps, enjoying the attention. Finn listens to Poe’s breaths become slower and deeper, and his sniffling subsides. He listens to the distant sound of cars on the freeway, to the occasional ribbit of a frog and jingle of a cat’s collar. The dim light of the street lights casts a yellowish glow on the street.

It’s still. The serene peace seeps into Finn’s veins, calming him. He feels quiet inside for the first time in a while. Poe is peaceful next to him and it’s all he needs.

Poe may be hurting, but there’s always tomorrow.

They’ll be okay.

 

-

 

“You’re sure you’re okay?” Finn asks for the sixth time that day.

Kes’ funeral is today and Poe is currently standing in the bathroom, fixing his hair in the mirror. He looks at Finn, who’s standing in the doorway already ready in his black button-up and black jeans. Poe’s eyes flicker down Finn’s figure for a second, and Finn feels his cheeks heat up against his will. Now is not the time, cheeks.

“Yeah,” Poe makes eye contact and assures Finn.

Finn must not look very convinced because Poe puts a strand of hair in place before walking over to his mate.

Poe wraps an arm around Finn’s waist and pulls them close together. He touches his forehead to Finn’s, gaining two sharp eyes at attention.

“I’m okay. I promise,” Poe articulates, careful to seem firm.

Finn searches his eyes for a moment but apparently found nothing concerning because he finally sighs and kisses the corner of Poe’s mouth.

“Okay,” Finn replies.

“It’s time to go,” Poe whispers.

Finn nods and Poe leans forward to kiss him. He gently captures Finn’s lips in his own and kisses him, trying to communicate how much he appreciates him. His tongue barely sneaks out when Finn deepens the kiss, pulling Poe closer. Poe quietly moans in appreciation and nips Finn’s lower lip before (regretfully) pulling back.

Poe begins to walk out of the room before he feels a hand on his arm, pulling him back. He turns around and finds himself close to Finn again.

“I love you,” Finn declares.

Poe smiles and goes on his toes a bit to kiss Finn on the forehead, “I know.”

Another tender look is briefly shared before Poe finally turns around to walk out of the room. Finn goes to the mirror to give himself one more look over. He has to admit he looks good.

Damn good.

Finn turns the bathroom lights off and walks out to where Poe is putting BB-8 in his crate.

“Be back soon, buddy,” Poe reassures BB-8 before standing up and smoothing out his black jeans and matching button up to Finn’s.

“I look okay?” Poe asks, eyes unsure of himself.

Finn walks over and kisses the top of his head, “Beautiful, like always.”

Poe smiles and squeezes Finn’s hand before going to the counter to grab his keys.

“You drive?” Poe asks, offering the keys.

Finn nods and takes the keys from Poe, opening the front door.

The drive is quiet. Finn lets Poe absorb whatever thoughts he’s having, and just holds his hand over the center console, occasionally tracing the knuckles with his lips.

Poe watches the trees go by outside and rests his forehead on the cool surface of the window. He occasionally squeezes Finn’s hand when he feels lips against it.

They arrive at the cemetery a few minutes before the service begins. The service is outside with a tent over the casket. It is a beautiful day, with the grass somehow still bright green even while it’s nearing December. His dad would’ve loved it.

The casket is a beautiful light oak wood with silver lining. Poe chose it because Kes always liked light colors and metals. Never dark.

A small crowd of people are already there. Poe recognizes some of them as his aunts and uncles. His family is relatively small. They’re an Air Force family. Half his close family members are deployed, the other half long since passed away.

Poe walks up and introduces Finn to a couple of his aunts, and they fawn over how good-looking Finn is. Poe can relate.

After socializing for ten minutes, Poe almost forgets why they’re there.

The head of the procession introduces himself and explains the proceedings. Poe asked for a simple ceremony. A few words from a few people and then a send-off with lily’s over the casket.

First goes his aunt, who tells a story of how Kes wouldn’t steal a piece of gum from a store when he was 13 even after all his friends told him to do it. Poe releases a watery laugh, and Finn kisses his temple.

Second is Kes’ sister-in-law and Shara’s sister. She retells the story of when Shara first introduced Kes to her and Kes got so nervous he called her Mr. Bey.

Finally, Poe goes to step up to the small podium next to the casket. He rubs his hand on the wood and looks to Finn for reassurance. Finn gives him a smile and nods, encouraging him.

“Hi,” Poe begins, shifting his weight, “For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Poe. Kes’ son,” he takes a breath, “Kes was the best dad you could have. He taught me compassion, boldness and to always treat others with kindness. No matter what. He was one of the best people I have ever known and will ever know.”

He continues, “I want to keep this short, because he always got bored by long speeches,” the audience softly laughs and Finn smiles small before Poe continues, “I guess what I want to say is thank you to my dad. Because of him, I am able to live my life positively and kindly. I am able to remind myself to not be sad that he’s gone, because he always told me there’s no point in worrying over what’s happened. He always said to look ahead. Look to the future. And for me, I have an amazing mate who will be there for me until I draw my last breath. I have a job, a roof over my head and food on the table. My dad wouldn’t want me to grieve any longer than I have to.”

Poe locks eyes with Finn and Finn is staring in complete and utter adoration. He almost can’t believe how brave Poe is for doing this. And then he remembers the stories of the man from which Poe came and he remembers Poe is literally the best person ever. Then it makes sense. Finn just wishes he could’ve met Kes.

“So, thank you for everything, Dad. I promise to put my best foot forward and to make the most of my life. I promise to enjoy every moment and I promise to never forget how much of a good, honest man you were. Live on, Dad. See you on the flipside,” Poe finishes and there’s tears welling up in his eyes, threatening to fall.

Poe walks back to Finn and Finn immediately draws him into his chest. He rubs soothing circles on his back and whispers, “I’m so proud of you. Your dad would be so proud of you. You’re so brave.”

Poe picks his head up from Finn’s shoulder and buries his face into his neck. He allows a couple tears to fall and allows himself to be comforted for a minute. He breathes in Finn’s cologne and the smell of their fabric softener and grounds himself.

The guy leading the procession prompts the family members who spoke to place a flower on the casket. Poe forces himself out to stand up out of Finn’s grasp and can feel the immediate loss. He then forces his feet to move to the casket.

Poe takes a flower from the man, and stands behind his aunts. They say their own goodbyes and place their flowers on the casket. Poe is last, and he kisses his flower, whispers “I love you, Dad” then gingerly places it on the wood.

He rejoins Finn and clutches his hand when they begin lowering the casket into the ground. He hums under his breath the same song he sang when they pulled the plug on his Dad. There’s a final thud, and the casket is lowered.

He feels half numb. He floats in and out of this numbness and feeling too many emotions to count. He wants to stay to see the final events of finishing the grave, but he’s worried it will break him to see the dirt being packed in.

“You want to leave?” Finn poses quietly in his ear.

Poe nods once, and wills himself to turn around from the grave. He forces his feet to move to the car.

Finn holds his hand again, but this time he rubs his thumb over the knuckle the entire ride. He’s trying to keep Poe grounded. He knows what it feels like to float too far from the ground.

Once they get home, Poe silently walks in and begins to strip off his clothes when they enter the bedroom. He wordlessly slides into bed and stares at the wall a bit. He wishes there was something, anything going on in his head, but there isn’t. He feels numb in the purest sense.

He’s faintly aware of Finn sliding in bed behind him, and then he feels a strong arm around his waist. Finn nuzzles the back of his neck, and places a gentle kiss there.

Poe doesn’t think Finn hears him, but he whispers, “Thank you.”

Finn hears him, because of course he does, and replies, “Always.”

They fall asleep and Poe feels at peace that he has Finn now.

 

-

 

Poe has been very quiet since his father’s funeral. He only speaks when he’s spoken to, and even then, they’re short and clipped responses.

Finn tries to not get frustrated, but when it’s been five days of silence and almost straight up avoidance from his lover… well… you get frustrated.

He just doesn’t understand. Even the days after his father’s death, Poe spoke to Finn and looked to him for comfort. Now, Poe barely looks at him.

He knows everyone grieves differently and he knows it’s a dick move to feel frustrated, but he still feels it.

It’s the evening now, and Poe goes back to work in two days. Finn just got home from his job, and starts pulling out food to cook for dinner.

“Poe!” Finn calls from the kitchen, “Is spaghetti okay?”

He hears a noncommittal grunt from the bedroom and rolls his eyes. Is saying yes too hard?

Nonetheless, he boils water and begins cooking the pasta. He starts the sauce in a pan and tries to remember what Poe always puts in that makes it taste so good.

He multitasks and edits an article he’s working on while he waits for the food to cook. This one is on sexual assault numbers rising in LA. It’s hard to see the statistics, but he wants to write about something that matters.

Soon enough, dinner is done and he puts pasta in two bowls. He put’s BB-8’s dinner in his bowl and calls to Poe again to let him know it’s done.

Poe pads in, wearing a torn up hoodie and sweats. The shadows under his eyes are darker than normal and Finn can’t help but press a kiss to his forehead.

“What’d you do today?” Finn tries to make conversation as they both sit down.

Poe shrugs, picking his fork in the pasta. He stares intently at the noodle, as if he’s eating it telepathically. Finn half scoffs.

Poe grants him an eyebrow, giving him an expression that’s both questioning and accusatory.

Finn says nothing, just continues to eat his dinner. He tries hard not to relay how frustrated he is, but his patience is worn very thin.

Very. Thin.

The atmosphere is tense, and it’s never been tense between them. Like, ever. Finn hates it.

He tries to lighten it again.

“You wanna start Christmas shopping soon? It’ll be December in a couple days,” he asks.

Poe doesn’t even look up and replies, “Fine. Yeah,” in an annoyed and clipped tone.

It’s something about the tone and the lack of eye contact that clips the final straw for Finn.

“Okay, no. What the fuck did I do wrong, Poe?” Finn half yells and Poe snaps his head up.

Poe’s facial expression goes from surprise to irritation.

“Nothing, Finn. Just fuckin cool your jets, pal,” Poe cooly replies, dropping his fork in the bowl.

Finn takes a deep breath and wills his blood pressure to go down. Stay calm. Don’t yell.

“You’ve barely fucking looked at me the last five days. You barely respond to me. It’s like you’re not even there, Poe! Do you know how much that sucks? I don’t even know what I did wrong because you won’t talk to me!” Finn blurts, and it feels good to get it off his chest, but then he sees the hurt look on Poe’s face and he immediately regrets the outburst.

He sighs, “Bab-“, but Poe cuts him off.

“I’m scared of losing you, Finn! I’ve withdrawn because I’m scared that I love you so much and then I’m gonna lose you like my dad,” Poe grits out, and his voice breaks on the last few words.

Finn, in the most literal sense, feels his heart break in two. Of course. Of course, Poe would be worried he would lose Finn. He just lost the person he loves most, and he’s afraid Finn is next.

To be frank, Finn feels like the biggest asshole.

Finn is up from his seat across the table in an instant, and he gently pulls Poe up and into his arms. Poe immediately buries his face in Finn’s neck and clutches at the shirt over Finn’s back like a lifeline.

“You’re not going to lose me, Poe. I’m here. For now, and forever. No matter what,” Finn whispers into his mate’s ear, holding him as tight as he can.

“For now, and forever,” Poe echoes, face wet from tears.

They hold each other like that for another minute, and Poe repeats the phrase in his head like a mantra.

For now, and forever.

 

-

 

It’s nearing Christmas and it’s like, impossible for Poe’s spirits to be down.

Poe is a huge fucking Christmas nerd.

Right now, he’s on a ladder fixing one of the Christmas lights on the house that went out. It’s cold as fuck, but he couldn’t be half assed to care. Its motherfuckin’ Christmas time.

His hands are numb as he tries to screw the lightbulb in. Finn is standing below him holding the ladder steady, humming Jingle Bell Rock under his breath.

“You havin’ fun down there, buddy?” Poe calls, cursing under his breath when his finger slips.

“Oh, tons. Really enjoying the view,” Finn replies and Poe can just _hear_ the smirk in his voice that tells Poe he’s not lying.

Poe barks a laugh, but loses his footing for a second. He immediately grabs the roof for support and can hear Finn gasp beneath him.

“I’m good,” Poe affirms, turning around to see the still concerned look on Finn’s face.

“Jesus. Scared the shit out of me. Don’t go dyin’ right before Christmas, asshole,” Finn pouts.

Poe snorts and finishes screwing in the lightbulb. He makes his way down the ladder, using Finn for support. He jumps down and leans back to admire his work, and damn does it look good.

“I’m a damn good light hanger-upper,” Poe crosses his arms and smiles.

Finn slaps his ass and whispers in his ear, “Yeah you are.”

Poe laughs and flicks his nose. He’s mated to such a loser.

They put the ladder back in the garage and walk into the house. Poe rubs his hands together and tries to regain feeling to his fingertips.

Finn notices how cold he is and takes his hands in his, blowing hot air on them. Poe smiles softly and leans forward to kiss Finn’s nose.

Finn releases his hands and frames his face instead, drawing Poe in for a kiss. He’s got Poe’s lower lip in between his and is just sneaking his tongue out when he feels a cold hand go under his shirt and on his stomach.

Finn yelps and bites down on Poe’s lip. Harder than he meant to.

“Fuck!” Poe pulls back and holds his bottom lip.

“I’m sorry! You put your cold fucking hand on my stomach! It was a reflex!” Finn proclaimed.

“Is it a reflex to bite down when you feel a cold hand on you?” Poe whines.

Finn tries not to laugh, but he does. A giggle falls past his lips as the ridiculousness of it all.

Poe looks offended and accuses, “Are you laughing at me?” a smile on his lips contradicts his tone.

Finn shakes his head and tries to stifle his laughs. It doesn’t work.

“I’m bleeding, you asshole!” Poe dramatically pulls down his lip to show Finn.

Finn does feel bad for a moment looking at the shallow bite marks, but then Poe starts giggling too and it’s all over.

Finn kisses the lower lip gently and promises, “I’ll make it up to you.”

Poe grumbles but still has a small smile, “You better.”

Finn walks into the kitchen and Poe follows behind him.

“Make me hot chocolate,” Poe demands, pushing himself up to sit on the countertop.

Finn shrugs, “That’s fair. Marshmallows and whipped cream?” Finn is already moving to get the ingredients.

“Is that even a question?” Poe drops his hand from nursing his lip to make a question gesture.

Finn chuckles and puts the milk in the pot to boil. He puts the milk back in the fridge then grabs the cocoa powder, sugar, marshmallows and whipped cream. He moves past Poe to grab mugs, but is reeled in with a hand on his red sweater to stand between the V of Poe’s legs.

“Hey,” Finn smiles, hands coming to rest on Poe’s hips.

“I missed you,” Poe’s thin fingers begin to play with the short hairs on the nape of Finn’s neck.

Finn puts a gentle hand on Poe’s chin and draws him in until their faces are a couple inches apart.

“I’m always here,” Finn breathes, and Poe closes the distance.

Poe’s hands are now gripping the back of Finn’s neck, pulling him up into Poe. Poe takes command of the kiss, nipping at Finn’s lower lip. Finn hums in response and lets his free hand lower to Poe’s thigh. He outlines the curve of Poe’s body on the way down, and lets his other wand drop to Poe’s hip.

Poe lets his tongue swipe across Finn’s lip, and Finn lets him in graciously. Their tongues glide together and there’s a loud smacking sound when they pull apart briefly. In the second they’re apart, Poe puts a sloppy kiss to the corner of Finn’s mouth.

Finn dives in again to claim his mouth, and Poe can feel the hand on his thigh going up, up, up until Finn’s thumb brushes his groin.

“Fuck,” Poe murmurs, hooking his ankles around Finn’s back to draw him in more.

“Babe, the milk,” Finn quietly protests, groaning when Poe starts sucking a mark under his jaw.

He almost allows himself to get sucked (literally) into Poe, but the milk will boil over and cause a mess. One that he will probably have to clean up.

“Poe,” Finn, in a large amount of effort, kisses Poe’s forehead and walks to the stovetop.

“No fair,” Poe whines.

“Hey. You’re the one who wanted hot chocolate, dick,” Finn points the stirring spoon accusingly at Poe.

“Want your dick,” Poe smirks, hopping off the counter.

Finn huffs a laugh and turns around to resume stirring the milk, cocoa powder and sugar. He only gets a couple seconds in before he feels strong arms around his waist and a warm body plastered to him.

“Love you,” Poe murmurs and hooks his chin over Finn’s shoulder.

Finn smiles in spite of himself and responds, “Love you too. Now go sit down and find a Christmas movie. It’ll be ready in a minute, babe.”

Poe kisses the back of his neck and walks to the living room, grabbing his Star Trek blanket off the chair on his way to the couch.

Finn smiles and shakes his head to himself. He’s so in love. God help him.

 

-

 

“Finn,” Poe whispers. He’s laying halfway on top of Finn, propping himself up on Finn’s chest.

“Hmm,” Finn groans, not bothering to open his eyes.

Poe leans forward to whisper in Finn’s ear, “Its’s fucking Christmas.”

Finn groans again and wraps an arm around Poe’s waist, turning them over into a sleeping position. Poe yelps and finds himself chest to chest with Finn. Not a bad view, but also not the time.

“Christmas waits for no one,” Poe tries again in Finn’s ear. He lays kisses from his ear, jaw, cheek and finally Finn’s lips.

That gets him a response.

Finn kisses back and the hand on Poe’s back starts rubbing up and down. It’s tender and almost makes Poe fall asleep again.

Almost.

“Nope,” Poe shakes himself out of it. He untangles himself from Finn’s grasp and stands on the floor from his side of the bed, hands on his hips.

The silence prompts Finn to crack an eye open. The image of Poe glaring at him in his red Christmas pajama set makes him stifle a giggle.

Poe actually stamps his foot and scrunches up his face. It’s super cute. But Finn also knows that the next thing Poe will do is physically pull him out of bed.

“Alright, alright. I’m up, Princess,” Finn mumbles, rubbing his eyes and sitting up.

“Don’t call me Princess, you ass,” Poe chided.

Finn stands up in front of Poe and smiles big, and any of Poe’s previous resolve melts away. He stretches and Poe’s eyes land on those biceps and that chest under his white t-shirt. Not to mention his strong thighs Poe knows are hiding under the matching red Christmas pants Poe forced him into. And his smile… Don’t get Poe started on that damn smile.

“You’re dangerous,” Poe accuses, finger on Finn’s chest.

“Only to you, you sap,” Finn kisses the corner of Poe’s mouth.

Finn walks out of the room to make coffee, probably, and Poe follows like a lovesick puppy.

It’s not far off.

“Are Rey and Jess coming over later today?” Poe asks, moving table to make room for them to sit in front of the Christmas tree.

“Yeah,” Finn calls, and Poe hears the clink of the mugs.

Poe smiles in excitement of the day and puts on the Santa hat he found at the store. It says, “I love my boyfriend” in bold letters. He loves it. They really make anything say anything these days.

Finn walks in with their coffees and sets them down on the table. He huffs a laugh when he sees Poe’s hat.

“That damn hat,” Finn smiles, kissing Poe’s forehead.

“You love it,” Poe shrugged, sitting cross legged on the floor next to Finn.

“I love you,” Finn replies easily, bumping shoulders with Poe.

Poe turns his head and softly smiles, eyes fluttering over Finn’s features. He should fill out an application to put Finn in the MOMA. This bitch really just sits there, looking so beautiful. Poe should start charging people for looking at him.

“Dork,” Poe murmurs, a moment too late.

Finn kisses his shoulder and breathes him in for a second. He wants to remember this. Their first Christmas together.

Finn pulls back and presses another kiss to the tip of Poe’s nose. Just ‘cos he can.

Poe leans in for a kiss for a moment before remembering why they’re there. He gasps and pulls back, diving to the presents. You could say Finn is a little disappointed.

“For you,” Poe hands Finn a box covered in reindeer wrapping paper.

Poe’s almost fully under the tree making sure he doesn’t miss a single present and BB-8 is right next to him, sniffing the boxes. It’s heart melt worthy to see them side by side, so Finn quietly snaps a photo for his Instagram. He’ll get a ton of likes for that one.

Poe hands him three more boxes and collects the three presents Finn bought him. There’s also one present each for BB-8 and Stuart that are both from Poe.

“Babe, this is a lot,” Finn chuckles, staring at the heap of boxes in his lap.

Poe looks up from where he’s already untying his present and simply shrugs.

“I like Christmas,” Poe replies, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world.

Finn smiles and shakes his head. This man and his heart of gold. How he became so lucky to be paired up with Poe is a whole ass mystery to Finn.

They both unwrap their presents and steal plenty of kisses in between. Poe got him an ergonomic keyboard attachment for his laptop because he complained of his wrists hurting after writing for too long. He also got Finn a brown leather jacket, a pair of new combat boots, some gloves and a joke present that is a t-shirt which says, ‘I love my hubby’ in bright pink letters.

Finn laughs at the last one and immediately puts it on just to see Poe giggle. He’s met with The Cutest Giggle Ever and can’t help but lean forward to kiss him. The kiss is half of their teeth clashing because of their laughing, but Finn loves it.

Poe is cutely overdramatic when he sees the pair of Vans that Finn got him. They’re regular slip on style, but Finn customized it with a picture of Stuart and BB-8 on each shoe. Poe swears he’s going to wear them everyday.

Finn also got him a big, soft sweater because Poe always complains about being cold. Poe immediately presses it to his face to feel how soft it is, because of course he does.

Finally, Poe begins to unwrap the present of which Finn is a little nervous. It’s a framed picture of the two of them. Rey captured it earlier in the week, and Finn immediately knew he had to frame it. In it, they’re sitting next to each other on their couch, and Poe has his leg thrown over Finn’s with Finn’s hand resting on his thigh. Poe is whispering something to Finn with his hands comically cupped around Finn’s ears. They both look so happy, with a large smile on Finn’s face and Poe’s eyes crinkled in the way they do when he smiles big.

Poe looks at it for a moment and looks up at Finn. Finn looks a little nervous, hands subconsciously messing with the hem of his sweater.

Poe lunges at him and holds the side of his face, “I fucking love it. And you,” he insists, looking deadly serious.

Finn begins to smile and Poe dives in, claiming his lips. There’s skin on skin, and Finn feels his stomach flop because of how tender Poe’s kiss is. Poe pulls back slowly, resting their foreheads together.

“Glad you like it,” Finn murmurs, eyes flicking over Poe’s face.

Poe kisses the corner of his mouth before pulling back, “Love it,” he corrects.

Finn leans back on his hands and watches the love of his life pick up their discarded wrapping paper before Poe stops abruptly.

“Oh! BB-8 and Stuart’s presents!” Poe exclaims.

“Baby, I don’t think they’ll mi-” Finn is cut off by Poe.

“BB-8! Stu!” Poe calls, and they both come trotting in.

Which is weird. Cats don’t do that.

Poe is like fucking Snow White.

Poe goes to grab Stu and instructs BB-8 to sit, who does.

“Babe, can you unwrap BB-8’s for him?” Poe asks, sliding the box over to Finn.

Finn calls BB-8 for his attention and unwraps the gift. He laughs out loud when he sees that it’s a bone and a cat plush toy that looks extremely similar to Stuart.

He looks over and sure enough, Stuart got a bag of treats and a little dog plush toy that looks exactly like BB-8.

“So they don’t get lonely if they miss each other,” Poe’s smile is genuine, and he watches BB-8 sniff the toys.

BB-8 goes for the bone and walks off, whereas Stuart vetoes the gift all together and struts off most likely to his place at the windowsill.

Poe actually pouts, bless him, at the rejection.

Finn smiles and leans over to kiss his forehead, “I’m sure they love them,” he reassures.

Poe’s eyes narrow and he grumbles, “Damn ungrateful animals.”

Finn snorts and continues where Poe left off with picking up the wrapping paper. He cleans the room and hums Christmas songs to himself.

Poe makes a nest on the couch with his Christmas blanket, coffee and pillow. He looks cozy as hell, so Finn of course joins him after he throws away the paper.

Poe opens the blanket to invite him in, and Finn settles in at his side.

“Can we watch It’s a Wonderful Life?” Finn asks, sipping his coffee.

Poe smiles and kisses Finn’s temple, “Sure.”

They settle in while the movie starts. Finn takes Poe’s hand in his under the blanket, rubbing his thumb over Poe’s hand. Poe opts to rest his head on Finn’s shoulder because it’s, like, the best cozy spot.

Finn sits back and enjoys where he is. It’s quiet, it’s serene and he’s filled with a kind of happiness only love can give you. He’s home next to the person he’s going to spend the rest of his life with.

Then, an idea pops into Finn’s head. Why don’t they just get married? They’ve already been through so much, and they already know they’re meant to be together.

Why wait?

“Marry me,” Finn blurts before he’s processed what he’s saying.

Poe’s head whips up from Finn’s shoulder, narrowly missing his chin.

“What?” Poe whispers, eyes wide.

“Why not? I love you, Poe, and I know we’re going to be together forever. You’re literally my soulmate, and I want to make it official,” Finn explains.

Poe pulls away so he can look at Finn fully. There’s a slowly forming grin on Poe’s face, and Finn can feel it reflected on his.

“Yes,” Poe laughs, feeling giddy.

“Yeah?” Finn’s smile is bright and eyes are loving.

“We’re gonna do this,” Poe’s eyebrow quirks up as he says it and Finn could not be more in love.

And then Poe crashes their lips together in a passionate kiss that, in tongues and lips, communicates everything they both feel for each other. And Finn is proven wrong. He definitely is even more in love with Poe now.

Poe has his hands on the sides of Finn’s cheeks, rubbing his thumbs on his cheekbones. Finn’s hands are one in Poe’s hair and one on his waist. There’s an _energy_ flowing between them and Finn has never felt anything like it.

Poe presses their foreheads together and whispers, “I still expect a ring.”

Finn huffs a giddy laugh and avows, “I’ll give you that and my whole heart, too.”

So yeah.

They’re good.

**Author's Note:**

> epilogue coming soon!! feedback is always amazing  
> tumblr: numberonefinnstan


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